I’m done! I’m really done! I’m Dr. O’Neill now! (Am I sure I’m done? Isn’t someone going to pop up and tell me I’m not done?). It feels unreal. And it’s certainly been quite the journey since I began this program. Heck, it’s been a journey since my last blog post, which was only a few weeks ago.
I defended my dissertation on March 25. My dissertation defense consisted of me presenting for 25 minutes, then Q&A from my committee, and then Q&A from the audience. Finally, my committee deliberated and gave me the verdict.
My chair gave me instructions for the 25-minute presentation. The instructions said that it’s impossible to present everything you want about your research in that limited time, so I was to tell a story. I decided to focus on my biggest takeaway: that generative AI usage by EdD students was transforming student-faculty relationships, and aimed to include only that evidence that led to that conclusion. I easily kept to the 25 minutes. I actually ended my talk around 22 or 23 minutes, which surprised me. Normally I’m better at timing a presentation than that!
After the presentation, and all the questions, we were about 1.5 hours in (grueling!). My committee gave me the result: I passed! Well, I passed with minor revisions. (Generally, when you make it to your defense you know that you are going to pass, otherwise your chair shouldn’t let you defend at all). My chair deemed a specific term that I used to be a bit of a reach, so I just had to quickly take that out, and add a bit of other information. I won’t lie; I was a little disappointed to have revisions, but they were really quick and only took about 20 minutes.
Each year of this 3.5 year program was harder than the one before. This last year of this program, focusing on the dissertation, was really hard and really exhausting. Working on my dissertation this past year (and doing the research) meant sequestering myself in my office on the weekend, every weekend. I emerged each weekend unable to articulate what progress I made, though I knew what I was doing was important to getting it done (so many revisions!). I spent seven days a week at my computer (since, you know, I still have to earn a living Monday-Friday). I was very lucky to be able to work from home through this entire program, and to be quite flexible in my work since I’m mostly self-employed. I truly can not imagine how difficult this must be for people that work full-time, in an office, with a commute, and with families. I made it work, and I stayed focused, and I never want to read my dissertation again (I’m already embarrassed of some of the clunky writing. It was such a sprint there for the last few months, I was constantly revising!).
Now that I’m done, I’m back to riding my bike on the weekend, and going outside more in general, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my newly found free-time. My six year-old son (who was three when I started) apparently wants to fill up my newfound free time with 3.5 years of questions. I remember starting this program feeling so amazed that when I finished, I’d have a first-grader, and here I am. It’s really unreal.
My understanding of the post-degree phase is that you have to adjust to being done. Some people experience a post-degree depression. Fortunately, I have continuity in my day-to-day routine, and because I did this program online, it’s less of an adjustment than an on-campus program would have been. I’ve been writing lists of what I want to do with my time, but the lists get very long! I think I’m just going to work on taking this new phase of life day-by-day. After 3.5 years, it’s a lot to let go! It’s also anti-climactic. People ask what my plans are now. They’re the same as they were before: do good work, with good people, just with a little extra fanciness.
Thanks for reading. With gratitude, and with exhaustion, and with optimism for the future,
